A mama in training

A “super mom” I am not. I don’t know for sure what a super mom is, but in my head I imagine someone dressed in a sweater set, perfectly accessorized, make-up flawless, a kid on each hip, a rope around the waist pulling a wagon with two more, all while smiling graciously, and checking out at the grocery store with a cart full of organic produce and probiotics for everyone!

I truly believe these people exist, only they have a natural source of something similar to valium coursing through their veins at all times. Since I am light years away from this “super mom”, I’ve decided to highlight some of my own super qualities, as a way of massaging my ego. I have to believe that my “super mom” ways build character, and teach life long lessons. Though the list is much longer, I thought I would share some of my character building strategies.

1. Giving my child a haircut that slightly resembles the classic “bowl cut”, only much more interesting. I have found that a toy comb + fisher price scissors = a marriage between Edward Scissorhands and Dumb and Dumber.

2. Surprising my 3 year old with new PERMANENT markers to occupy herself with as I sip a glass of wine and stir my crock-pot meal that doesn‘t even require this much effort… I find that these markers give me the opportunity to see my child as the brilliant artist she is when she draws all over her abdomen and hands, and I get to see it for days upon days. Trying to clean permanent marker off an extremely ticklish toddler is a joy. It’s better just to leave it.

3. Here is what makes me most beam with pride. I have developed the ability to let my darling daughter reach her sweet little hand into a plastic orange jack o lantern for a prime piece of leftover Halloween candy. I think this would only be slightly “super mom” if I allowed it as an after dinner treat. However, because I am not okay with a sub super status, I instead let her choose this at 6 am, before any other food item has touched her impressionable taste buds. This way, she can go to daycare with chocolate on her face, since I know she will refuse to let me remove this symbol of her hard work. She will also develop a preference for sweets with her bed head forever. But it’s the reward that made the most sense in my sleep deprived brain. I mean, she did sleep in her big girl bed all night! Or maybe she didn’t…Either way, I’m incapable of arguing with an irrational chocolate addict at 6 am without a half pot of coffee.

And there I am, a “super mom” in training.